When I was younger I took a lot of pleasure when I went off on a new adventure and met new people, made new friends, shared our life experiences. And in a way, I still do. I love the unexpected way you can make a friend from a completely different place in the world, with different upbringings, and possibly different future paths, however, I have as recently developed a bitter sweet feeling at the thought that at some point I will have to say bye to this friend.
This is what happens when you grow up on the move, and after saying goodbye one, two, three, forty times, it can take an emotional toll on a person. My last move was from DC to Geneva, and I was so saddened to have left the good I had made there, over the two years spent in that city, that I thought to myself "this time I do not want to get attached to anyone, especially if I'm going to be here only for a year and a half and then everyone is going to leave again." This was my feeling for about a year, but then I began feeling very lonely, and by the time I felt that I wanted to make friends, I felt like it was too late, as everyone had their own circle of friends, where I felt I didn't belong, and felt even lonelier, and an outsider.
I started to have more of a social life once I began a new internship. This time I new I wanted to make some deeper connections, so I tried to get more involved, but since I was also in a relationship and didn't want to spend all my time socializing, as it is also important to give time to that special person. At the end, I was able to make a few connections, even though it did not last very long, as they ended up going back to their respective cities, but it was worth the good times spent with these new friends.
Sometimes I truly wish that I had just grown up in one place, where I could have made strong, lasting relationships. However, I also think that maybe I would take these relationships for granted had I always had them and not appreciated how important it can be to have good friends, but maybe not. All I can say for sure, is that moving around, not growing up in one place where I could have those strong lasting relationships, has made me more aware of the importance of family, and good friends, and to be able to recognize when sincere people, and friends come along. In the meanwhile, more than ever, I do wish that at some point in my life I will be able to settle down in one city, and be able to make lasting relationships, as I feel that I am lacking a bit in this part of my life. Saying goodbye today remains as difficult, or even more so, than it used to be.
